This is cheesy, but…
I know you guys are busy and probably don’t have time, but….
I’m sure you don’t want to hear about my sad story, but…..
This probably sounds silly, but…..
As we travel Aotearoa doing what we love, sharing our musical passion, we receive a number of very personal messages and experience some emotionally deep, heartfelt conversations about people’s journeys and challenges in life, love and health. This is often after a live show and they come with a strong message of healing through the entertainment. There are people with stories of work place unhappiness or perhaps even severe bullying or sometimes, personal relationship challenges. We often hear that a night of musical fun has decluttered some thoughts and allowed moments of reflective insight to help clarify some life priorities. There are people whom have suffered abuse and have chosen to make one of our shows their first venture back out into public and we hear about their feelings of being safe, confident and loved in the audience (good on you guys and gals…jeez you are the best audiences and should be proud!!!). We have even encountered stories from people battling terminal illnesses whom have been able to forget about their symptoms for a time through laughter and dance, something no clinical medicine has been able to do. It is humbling, a huge honour and something quite stunningly beautiful. We love it.
So, why do we feel the need to precede these conversations with statements like ‘this is cheesy but’… This is a common thread when people talk with us or send through their stories. Talking ourselves down is a part of Kiwi culture and something that possibly threads into some deeper issues in our country and it’s people.
New Zealand has a terrifying suicide rate. A common misconception is that it has been slowly improving as our acceptance, facilities and open conversations around mental health issues have improved. Sadly, this is not true and in June 2019 we had our highest ever recorded annual number of suicides at 685. Yes, our conversations about difficult topics like these are becoming more common and our acceptance greater which is leading towards positive change, but we still need to get deeper into the core of how we communicate for things to further move forward. Talking openly about our stories, our journeys and what affects us might just be a part of the foundation of this.
Kiwis have long been proud of our reputation for inginuity, a strong work ethic and an understated determination for successes in sports, business and all other fields on an international level. Rightly so. We like to work hard and quietly, let our actions speak for us. We do it very well. But with this, has also come an underlying sense that talking and expressing ourselves emotionally is somehow a weakening factor. Bundling everything up and trying to deal with our lifes journeys internally with a quiet, resilient attitude has traditionally been seen as a strength. Through White Chapel Jak we get to experience the opposite. The stories that people share with us are incredibly personal, often heart wrenching and sometimes inspiring but what we see in every one, is the courage it has taken someone to openly give of themselves fully in order to be able to share intimate details of their life. There is no level of measure for this. Each and every story means something to the storyteller and the sharing of each, has taken an incredible amount of courage that greatly supercedes any traditional belief of what makes us strong. We hear it, we see it and we thank you for your incredible bravery. If we could all embrace this kind of open communication, listen without judgement and also share openly without fear, however small it may seem, the ripples out towards change could potentially be huge. This could be a unifying fortitude and part of culture in Aotearoa that we could be truly proud of.
So please, share your feelings with us. Talk to us, email us, message us. We may not get the opportunity reply to all of you individually but know that every single message is read, valued and talked about. There is no topic that is trivial and there is no measure of any feeling that states it is not important enough to share. Your stories of any moment of light experienced through one of our shows means the world to us. It is perhaps, a somewhat unexpected layer of our dream to play music as a full time lifestyle, but it is something that has become an integral ingredient of the glue that binds us together and keeps our band pushing forward with vigour and passion. There is no immediate, quick fix for some of the deeper problems in this country and across the world, but maybe…just maybe, if we open our hearts, ears and conversations, we might start down the pathway towards a better home for everyone.
Tell us your story, send us your messages and please don’t feel the need for a disclaimer of any kind like this probably sounds silly. It’s not silly, it’s not cheesy and in fact, it’s very personal, very real, incredibly brave and potentially, a ripple that is part of a bigger wave of positive change. Besides, you have nothing to lose…..at the very least you make a band of happy little musicians’ day a whole lot better!!
Let’s make 2020 a year of beauty, aroha and positive change. That is something to be proud of.
Your White Chapel Jak Whanau.
